Have you ever realized after the fact that maybe you just shouldn’t be doing it anyway?

That’s how I feel about my career.  I have banged my head against a wall, struggled for so long, only to be denied at the last.  I’ve realized I just wasn’t supposed to be doing this to begin with.

I knew I wasn’t meant to do this when I was still in school.  It’s taken this long to really get it through my head that the entire field is exactly the same, from basic to advanced, and not meant for me.  Why I kept on I don’t know – Einstein said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing and expecting a different result.  I guess I thought getting my master’s degree would make it all different.  Not so.  Just more of the same.  And more.  And so, by Einstein’s definition I was insane.  I think I’ve finally come to and become sane.

When Mr. TF gets a job in his chosen field, I will resign my position.  I will not renew my license when it comes due.  After all this I have come to realize that some things are just not worth it.  This is one of them.

I’m listening now Universe.  What do the Gods have to say?

One response

  1. I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like to tell us what it is about nursing which you feel is not right for you? I can see that there are all sorts of reasons why someone might not want to be a nurse, but on the other hand, it seems a very useful potential post-peak job, like plumbing, carpentry and farming, but unlike auto sales, banking, telemarketing and being a TV personality.

    Here’s my story: I qualified as a doctor in 1983 but pretty soon realized that I was not enthusiastic about medicine, so in 1988 I dropped out (sort of), had a fun time sailing round the world as a cruise ship doc for two years, then retrained as a lawyer with the intention of specializing in personal injury and medical malpractice. I actually enjoyed the legal work more than the medical work, but two problems reared their heads: I couldn’t make enough money at it to live on, at least not in the early years, so I had to make ends meet by working medical shifts in my time off. Also, I didn’t fit in with the legal culture, in which everyone takes the thing far too seriously, and where there are weird narratives which you are expected to believe in, like following the rules is more important than establishing the truth. So I accepted what the Universe was telling me and went back to being a full time doctor again in 1996, which I do as a job rather than a vocation, and which unlike the law brings in a decent amount of “money” (whatever “money” is: that seems to be increasingly uncertain these days). And also, I guess it’s a more useful potential post-peak career than the law.

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