“Legitimate” Rape?


You have probably heard Todd Akin’s ‘gaffe’ (not) whereupon he stated that a woman who has been ‘legitimately raped’ will not conceive a child because her body secretes substances that prevent that.  Presumably if a women does perchance conceive she was secretly wanting it to happen, in his worldview.  I have a few things to say about this.

First of all, it is possible to be raped and be so frozen by the incomprehensibility of the thing happening that one cannot fight.  It does not mean consent.  It does not even mean acquiescence.  It merely means the mind is so traumatized the body cannot react.

Second of all, the millions of women all over the world who have had children as a result of rape – ask the losers of any battle about this – might have a thing to say regarding whether or not it’s possible to conceive as the result of sexual violence.

Thirdly, NO man has the right to say what a woman does with her body.  That includes a husband, although a wife and a husband have a duty and responsibility to talk with each other about things that will affect the other, including birth control.  That is what a committed relationship including marriage involves and to pretend otherwise dooms that relationship to failure.  Lies destroy relationships.  Period.

When men begin conceiving and bearing children, and men are the preferred victims of rape, instead of the occasional outlier, they can begin to contribute to the discussion about birth control and rape and whether there is such a thing as ‘legitimate’ rape.  Not before.

A truly courageous man, a truly chivalrous man, protects the honor of the women he is associated with – and I don’t mean the twisted idea of honor that results in honor killings, I mean true honor.  If a woman is raped, she is not responsible even if she was thoughtless or misguided.  Not all situations appear at the outset to contain the danger they in fact do.  And she should not be the one punished.

Women are not chattel, not property, not status symbols.  I don’t care what your religion tells you, the books were written by men and they favor men.  Men do not own women, they OWE women for their very existence.  Does that mean women should take up the position men mostly occupy?  NO, no sex should have dominion over the other.  We need each other.  Remember that.

ETA:  I do practice a religion and I have studied a few religions intensively, and many more in less depth.  My religion places neither sex above the other but holds both equally accountable in all aspects of existence.

New job


I simply wasn’t getting enough pay at my present job, even though I really like it.  Working five days a week, all hours, and going to school on a sixth was just becoming exhausting.  Thanks to my adventures with stress related illness last year, I am still vulnerable to insomnia if I don’t keep a regular sleep/wake schedule, and working until 10pm one day only to have to get up at 5 the next to be at a client’s house by 7 was getting very difficult.  That, combined with the fact that my hours (not just mine, but most of my fellow nurses) were severely reduced in July, made for the perfect storm of stress and anxiety and the resultant sleepless nights.

I put in resumes at several places without much hope of a job offer; in this economic climate no one wants to train a nurse for anything, they want to hire someone with lots of experience that only needs to be oriented to their particular way of doing things.  And, while I have a lot of experience, it’s a quirk of the nursing world that nothing you do while at a different job title is allowed to be transferred, experience wise, to the nursing job.  So any and all experience I have had as a paramedic working and living in a rural area doesn’t count because I didn’t do it as a nurse.  This is because nurses ‘are unique’…just ask one (not me, because I don’t buy it) 🙂

Lo and behold, I got an interview.  And a job offer.  And a formal job offer that I happily signed and returned.

I hope it works out!  I have two weeks of orientation with my boss/trainer, then I start mid September.  I’m relieved, hopeful, and excited to finally be doing pretty much what I had wanted when I started nursing.  It’s mostly M-F with some call, and some weekend stuff, but at least I will be on a normal schedule and hopefully be able to have family time on the weekends.

I will have to develop some better discipline about studying though!  Every night for an hour is my plan; we’ll see how that works out in practice though.  And I will hopefully have time to devote to my fiber arts business as well.  I really need to warp my loom for the towels I designed, but with only one day off I have too much to catch up on to ‘waste’ time on weaving.

In other news, our chickens aren’t defective; we are finally getting eggs!  It’s been so hot that their laying has been delayed by a month or so but at least two of them are laying now.  Little banty-sized eggs but hey, they’re new to this and I’m grateful for them.  I can’t get over how calm the Buffs are; they really help to mellow out the Rhode Island Reds.

We had quite the adventure a few weeks ago; three of the four birds flew over the back fence and were in the alley.  Mr. TF and I spent probably an hour chasing chickens to pick them up and get them back into our yard.  I got smart and clipped wings as we caught them, except for one.  She managed to fly up on our barbeque as proud as you please to be at eye level with me.  She let me pick her up with very little fuss, and promptly got her wing clipped as well.  Which she chewed me out for as soon as she was back with her sisters.  Ah well.  Such is the life of a chicken.

No canning, no preserving other than lavender flowers and indigo leaves.  I’m glad I got a good harvest of yarrow last year because the grasshoppers have absolutely devastated my stand this year!  Even nolobait doesn’t seem to stop them from reproducing and eating.

I did plant some purple irises; they are supposed to make a lovely color fast dye on wool.  I hope so!  I got them from a fellow guild member; she has the most fantastic garden I have ever seen!  She also gave me some Egyptian walking onions which I am extremely grateful for – I have been looking without success for those for something like four years.  She was gifted the original plants some years ago by someone else.  I hope they do well for me so I have the opportunity to pass the gift on.

OK, enough babbling.  Back to studying.  It’s a school day, after all.