Changes


When I first became a Pagan, as a conscious choice rather than a sort of subconscious philosophical belief system, I was very into “Pagan Unity” and uniting the various factions in my little community. I was looking for a solid group, with values and ethics, that was willing to mentor the new and challenge the mature. Unfortunately, there wasn’t one, and the one we ultimately spent a time in was um…well, not these things.  But we learned, and we put our energies into finding like minded people in our own area, attempting to create that haven where Pagans of all stripes could feel welcomed.

We started a group in our own area, we incorporated as a non profit, we worked our behinds off to try to create the group we had been looking for, knowing that there were others out there who also were looking for the same things.  And there were.  The problem is that everyone wants to run it for themselves. So now, seven years from that first searching, we have  a little group of friends and like minded people, a group less than half the size it was two years ago, that is probably in it for the long haul (barring moves to other parts of the country).  There is no point in being a nonprofit as we don’t have enough membership to bother with it, if indeed we ever did…we may have simply been entirely too ambitious and had too great expectations in that regard.  The idea was good, the timing was not.

I find that over the years, my interests have changed from ‘spirituality’ as something to be developed, something to be focused on in and of itself, to something that is integrated into my life.  Once upon a time, if I felt the need to meditate, I lit a candle, lit incense, and focused.  Now, I simply go into my garden and work.  If I want to work on spirituality, on connection with the Divine spirit, I also go into the garden or spend time watching my chickens.  If I want to work on fellowship, I call my friends, make plans, or simply think about how the food that I’m growing or my eggs nourish those that eat them.

I don’t know if this is a natural evolution but this is the path that I have ended up on.  Although I wish I lived closer to my friends, my fellow seekers, I am grateful to know them, grateful that I have ended up where I am.   And I am glad to realize that food is indeed most basic thing that knits us together, both in ourselves and to each other. The Egyptians have a word that means both ‘bread’ and life:  Aisha.  I think I’m beginning to understand the great spiritual message contained in that.

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2 responses

  1. I also hoped to create/find a local group to share my own pagan spirituality, but only found a local college group (I am in my late 30’s and whereas I don’t conciously discriminate between ages-I have a large span of age groups in my life-but I sort of wanted people in my age group or older) and was poorly organized (or at least not organized to fit my life).

    I also have shaped my own ideas of what it means to be ‘pagan’ and have simply accepted that I can seek peace in wahtever means I wish (and not by some sort of set standards). Where I live (I’m sure you remember!!) evangelical Christian groups dominate and I often keep my spirituality quiet, but it is a challenge. Most (like co-workers for example) assume I am some sort of Chrisitan and would have trouble accepting someone different from them. I don’t feel I am “hiding”; I figure the judgement or confusion on their part is not worth the hassle of telling them. I am comfortable just being a closet pagan to people outside my family. I do think that is where a local group or even just one local pagan friend would be a great support network though, and maybe I could learn how to be an ‘open’ pagan.

    I think it is great you were able to create a group of 7 like-minded people.

    • That is one of the reasons I prefer to live here, the fact that I can just ‘be’ without too much discrimination. I’m not open, but I’m not in the closet either. When people ask I tell them I’m a pantheistic agnostic with Druid leanings…then they have to go look up what all that means 😉 I have lost a job over my faith, but I got a better one so maybe Divinity was making up for jackass people.

      I think that there are more Pagans in your area than you might realize…you’ll meet them when the time is right I’m guessing.

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